I Hear What You Don't Say

I'm not very good at small talk.

Not because I don't enjoy it, but because I almost automatically notice what's happening beneath the words.

I hear what you don't say.

I see what you're trying to hide. I feel when your energy shifts. When you smile even though you're hurting. When your words don't quite match what you're feeling.

A friend once said to me: "Jacq, you go straight to the pain. Not everyone wants that. Most people would rather stay away from it."

I almost fell off my chair.

"Wait, what? They don't? But that's exactly where your light and freedom is hidden!"

Over time, I've learned to hold back a little more.

Because, to be honest... it also made me rather intense company sometimes.

I used to do this with friends, too.

Without being asked.

Ouch... 🥹

Thankfully, I've unlearned that.

Not everyone wants a mirror and not everyone is ready to be truly seen. And that's okay. Personal growth can't be forced.

That's why I love working with people who are genuinely curious about themselves. People who don't expect me to change their lives, but who are willing to take responsibility for their own journey, one step at a time. Because that's where lasting transformation begins.

These days, I only use that sensitivity when someone consciously invites me to: In my coaching sessions.

Looking back, I also understand much better where that sensitivity came from. As a child, I grew up in an environment where much was left unspoken. The atmosphere in our home mattered more than the words people said. From an early age, I learned to read faces, sense moods and listen between the lines. Back then, it was a way to stay safe.

What once began as a survival strategy has become one of my greatest strengths.

Through years of therapy, bodywork, family constellations and personal development, I no longer need that sensitivity to protect myself. Today, I choose to use it to support others.

Not to expose people.

Not to prove that I'm right.

Not to analyse you.

But to discover, together, what is still waiting to be seen.

Perhaps Carl Jung expressed it best: "One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious."

Perhaps true freedom doesn't begin when we avoid our shadow.

Perhaps it begins the moment we finally dare to face it.

Because perhaps your deepest wound is far closer to your greatest strength than you ever imagined.

❤️

Reflection

Which part of yourself do you try hardest to keep hidden?